Chit Chat

Do you have a lot of close friends?

Since graduating law school and moving back to my hometown my group of friends have gotten incredibly small. I had a huge group of friends in high school and in college. In law school my group of friends became smaller but still there was always numerous people to spend time with, to go on adventures with, to share the huge work load that comes with law school, and to meet in library study rooms at 4 a.m. the morning of a final with smuggled in coffee and cinnamon rolls to devour while we tried desperately to cram the last bits of important information into our tired brains. I built strong personal connections with these friends. For three years they were always there. We would listen to each other whine and complain without judging. We would push everything aside to help each other out and we had fun, crazy, laugh until your stomach hurts fun. Now we are scattered across the country working in stressful, time-consuming jobs that leave almost a nonexistent amount of free time.

I miss this group of friends. It is difficult to go from having friends to go out with numerous times a week, people to eat every lunch (and most dinners) with, being greeted warmly and wholeheartedly every morning to almost never seeing some of the most important people in your life. It is somewhat isolating. I am not the best at keeping in touch but I have been trying hard to maintain these friendships. We send numerous texts, we try to catch each other on the phone, and I have a pact with my best friend to leave work at the same time at least once a week and to talk to each other during our entire drives home but in reality it is not the same. I would love to have more friends close by that I could go out to dinner with or whose house I could swing by without much thought (or without driving a minimum of four or five hours).

While some of my high school friends still live in my hometown it is difficult to reignite the close friendships we had in high school because it feels like we are at different places in our lives. Most of my former high school classmates entered the workforce after college whereas I had three additional years of school in front of me, some are married (or even divorced), and some have children. It doesn't help that my schedule is often jammed pack.

Living in a very small town there isn't a lot of opportunities to make friends and I feel like as I get older, perhaps due to busy schedules, being at different places in life, or simply becoming picker about those we allow into our circles making friends gets harder.

So I would love to know how do you make new friends and develop lasting friendships? Are most of your friends those who remain from high school and college? Do you have a large group of friends or just a trusted few? How do you maintain the friendships you make? And do you have any specific tips that might apply to me?

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